The Angel Next Door

Turning Conversations into Opportunities: Michelle Tillis Lederman on Effective Networking

Episode Summary

Have you ever wondered why some entrepreneurs seem to effortlessly connect with high-profile clients and seemingly land opportunities out of thin air? In this episode of The Angel Next Door Podcast, we unravel the secrets behind successful networking and relationship building, which are crucial to making those magic moments happen. Our guest today, Michelle Tillis Lederman, is an accomplished author, networking expert, and dynamic speaker known for her strategic insight into the world of relationships and connections. With a background as diverse as being a former CPA, an adrenaline junkie, and a seasoned entrepreneur, Michelle brings a wealth of knowledge and compelling stories to the table. Her expertise has guided many towards building meaningful and fruitful relationships in both personal and professional arenas. In this enlightening episode, host Marcia Dawood engages Michelle in a deep conversation about the art of networking and connection. Michelle shares invaluable tips from her book, The Connector's Advantage, highlighting how strategic relationship-building can propel entrepreneurs towards their goals faster, easier, and with better results. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to enhance your network, a leader aiming to create a cohesive team, or simply someone seeking to build more meaningful relationships, this episode is packed with practical advice and inspiring anecdotes. Don’t miss out on this must-listen episode to learn how to transform your approach to networking and unlock new opportunities.

Episode Notes

Have you ever wondered why some entrepreneurs seem to effortlessly connect with high-profile clients and seemingly land opportunities out of thin air? In this episode of The Angel Next Door Podcast, we unravel the secrets behind successful networking and relationship building, which are crucial to making those magic moments happen.

Our guest today, Michelle Tillis Lederman, is an accomplished author, networking expert, and dynamic speaker known for her strategic insight into the world of relationships and connections. With a background as diverse as being a former CPA, an adrenaline junkie, and a seasoned entrepreneur, Michelle brings a wealth of knowledge and compelling stories to the table. Her expertise has guided many towards building meaningful and fruitful relationships in both personal and professional arenas.

In this enlightening episode, host Marcia Dawood engages Michelle in a deep conversation about the art of networking and connection. Michelle shares invaluable tips from her book, The Connector's Advantage, highlighting how strategic relationship-building can propel entrepreneurs towards their goals faster, easier, and with better results. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to enhance your network, a leader aiming to create a cohesive team, or simply someone seeking to build more meaningful relationships, this episode is packed with practical advice and inspiring anecdotes. Don’t miss out on this must-listen episode to learn how to transform your approach to networking and unlock new opportunities.

 

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Episode Transcription

Marcia Dawood 

Michelle, welcome to the show.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Thanks for having me.

Marcia Dawood 

I'm excited to talk to you today. You have such a wealth of knowledge when it comes to networking, connecting. I have a copy of your book here that I see also in your background. And it is just there's so many amazing tips and tricks. So let's dive in and start talking about all of that. But first, how about you just give us a little bit about your background and how you got to where you are now.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

I am a mom of two. I've been told I'm an adrenaline junkie. I am a travel enthusiast. I'm a recovering cpa. And usually when somebody says, tell me about you, I don't go into job title. I go into personal interests because I believe that we connect on the things that we like to do. Our common interest and passions and values and people and places and causes more than our common job. So, yes, somebody out there might be like, oh, what adrenaline junkie things have you done? You know?

Marcia Dawood 

Yeah. Tell us a little bit more about being an adrenaline chunky.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

I have jumped out of a plane, did that on my honeymoon. I have scuba dived with sharks multiple times. I have bottle fed a Siberian tiger. I have rock repelled, which I like, rock climbed, which I didn't. And I will never bungee jump. That's the one thing that will never be on my list.

Marcia Dawood 

Yeah, I don't know. All those things terrify me. But. So tell us how you got so interested and passionate about being a connector and networking.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

It's funny, I didn't have the title networking in my first book, the eleven laws of likability and the publishers, you need networking in the title. I'm like, but it's not just about networking. They're like, what else is it about? I'm like, it's about relationships. And so we actually put in the subtitle relationship networking, because that was a phrase that I could connect with because I always said, nobody likes networking. It has the word work in it. And so I try to say networking is just another way of making friends. But then the work evolved a little bit from networking to connecting and that we built relationships through connection. And for me, the original book was an answer to the question, how did I build my business? And I know you have a lot of angel investors and a lot of entrepreneurs out there that are thinking about building businesses.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And literally the philosophy was my answer to the question of, like, how did you land JP Morgan, Deutsche bank, and Morgan Stanley as your first three clients? And how have I grown to a Seven figure business. And it is through those relationships, every single one of those clients. I've never had a cold call. It's always been referral, it has been introduction, it has been warm leads and how we think about those relationships. And I know that at one point you're going to want me to talk strategically, but the truth is I almost called it organic networking because, you know, or I hate networking, like, because, because I don't like the idea of, oh, I have to meet that person. I pretty much want you to meet the people that you enjoy meeting because you don't know who their neighbor is and you don't know who they went to summer camp with and you don't know where they grew up and you don't know who they're married to. And that's when things just bing, bing.

Marcia Dawood 

Yes. That makes a ton of sense because people don't even talking about, oh, there's time to network at an event or something like that. And then you end up like standing around, you talk to one or two people. Sometimes you're, you get in a conversation with somebody and you don't even want to be there. All of those things. I can totally see where organic networking would be and relationship building would be much, much better. Yeah. So talk to me a little bit more about like, how do people get started if they don't think that they have a strong network? Or maybe it's an entrepreneur who's just starting out and they want to start to figure out, like, who can I start to meet in my area? Because I talk to entrepreneurs all the time who are, maybe they're working on something very specific.

Marcia Dawood 

And if that's the case, finding the people who are also passionate about that specific thing can be a real game changer for them, a real win. So how would they go about finding those types of people?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Absolutely. There's a community for almost everything. And it's trying to figure out where is the community that you're looking for. And if you don't find one, possibly creating one. But we won't get too advanced yet. Let's start with the basics. And so it's first kind of understanding who are the other people out there who might be experiencing it and entrepreneurs. It might not just be other entrepreneurs.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

It might be that you want to be in more of a mixed community with leaders and even students or something where you can get multiple perspectives. First is think broadly about the community of people that might relate to or have a different take on what it is that you're dealing with. I'M part of a community called the MG100. Marshall Goldsmith put together this community and we're from all over the place, but you have no idea what experiences and expertise they bring in. And so just staying connected to that community, sharing, that's one of the things I always say is if there's something that you are excited about or something that you are focused on, talk about it, share it. You never know who has that shared experience or knows somebody who does. And one of the things I always say in the anatomy of a conversation is start with a question that you really want to know the answer to and be curious to learn about them. And also be willing to self disclose and share of yourself and put it out there.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

This is what I'm trying to figure out. Any advice that taps into people's desire to be helpful and they might have advice or they might say no, but I know somebody who might. So it is putting yourself environments where you can potentially connect with people and sharing what would be helpful for you. Because a great connector is not only willing to give help, assistance, introductions, information, invitations, but they're also willing to receive it and let somebody else be the one who helps.

Marcia Dawood 

Yes. So what are some stories that of people that you've known that have done some of these things in order to connect with others that are have really stood out to you?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

I always think of the experiences in my own life and how connections have made the difference for me. And I think about my sister ran into her middle school boyfriend at a pizzeria in the town that they grew up in. Neither of them lived there anymore, but they both went back to Starlight Pizzeria, ran into each other and Michael said, yeah, I'm the head of NBC Digital Publishing. And my sister said, my sister just wrote a book. And next thing I know, I was in Michael's office at NBC on the 26th floor talking about what I can do with his team. And although you can't quite see it, Heroes Get Hired book was a result of that conversation. And literally 13 months after I was in his office that was on the shelves and we were helping veterans reintegrate into the civilian workplace. Amazing, because my sister ran into her middle school boyfriend and with a simple share, I have a million stories like that and I bet your listeners do too.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And what could be amazing is if within the podcast where you might say, hey, let's build a community around this podcast of all of these listeners. See, now I'm getting a whole nother business line to open up where people can share and, and post and tell these stories. I actually, and I think you know this, I actually started creating a community called the Connected Leader Club. And, and that's the idea behind it, where people come into this community from all over. We have entrepreneurs, we have leaders, we have people that have to be at least 10 years into their career. We're looking for people that can bring shared experience. And we ask everybody immediately to put an ask out there and to put an offer out there. Here's the ways I can help, and here's what I'm looking for.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Help. And so you have this audience already. How do we connect them with each other? And you could do it on a much smaller scale. So I said I wasn't going advance. I'm going to go a little advanced. I used to go to something called Dory's Dinners, and this woman basically didn't have time to talk to everybody who wanted to talk to her. So she said, all right, I'm gonna invite 20 of you to dinner. Everybody pays their own way.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

I've got a restaurant who's willing to give everybody their own check. So she's not paying for dinner. She's just inviting everybody to the table. And sometimes it's talk amongst yourselves. And sometimes it's, here's a question, we're gonna go around the table so everybody gets to hear from everybody. And so now you're connecting with 20 people. You have somebody in common, and magic happens. I ended up on.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

I ended up with a LinkedIn course because of one of those dinners. And I didn't know it. It was because the company I did a course for got bought by LinkedIn. And all of a sudden I'm like, huh? I have a course with Bryan Cranston.

Marcia Dawood 

Wow.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Idea. Wow.

Marcia Dawood 

These are some really great tips and tricks. I love the idea of the ask and offer idea. I don't think enough. We're saying, hey, here's what I can do. Or in some cases, we will say, hey, I'm willing to help you, but then ask for what as well. And do you find that people struggle with that?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Oh, yeah. I have a whole chapter on that. And the connectors advantage, because the second mindset of a connector is having a clear vision. It's know what you want and be willing to ask for it. You can't get the connector's advantage of faster, easier, better results if you don't know what results you're looking for. So it doesn't have to be like a B hag. A big, hairy, audacious goal. I remember when the veteran book came out, I put out that I wanted to connect with Michelle Obama because she was very big on helping veterans.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And I. It was just a. Let me throw it out to the, you know, universe. I got to her chief of staff, had a call with her chief of staff. I never spoke to her directly, but I got pretty close just by having the clarity of this is what I'm looking for. When this book came out, it was, I want to get to 100 reviews. They can be small goals or they can be big goals, but the clarity of this is what I'm working on right now. Because a great connector is going to ask, and what are you working on? How can I help you? And if you go, oh, no, that's not serving anyone, you're not making that person feel valuable and able to help.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And so then now they're uncomfortable receiving and you're not serving yourself because there's always ways people can help. It might just be like, you know what, right now we're thinking about a second round of financing and we're looking for a very specific type of angel investor that is more of a strategic partner and focused in these types of industries. Right? Not just, oh, we're looking for investors. Just a little bit more detail of clarity. Because what you are doing is you're giving somebody the gift and the opportunity of information that can help their neurons start to fire and say, let me go into my mental Rolodex and see.

Marcia Dawood 

And how are you? How do you feel about people putting out their asks or their, their visions on social media?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Well, that's an interesting question. I think I would probably need to know a little bit more about them and what else they're doing. Because if the only thing is buy my course or buy my book or invest in my company. No. But if you are somebody who is putting information out and then saying, and here's how I can serve, and here's what I'm doing now and here's what I'm looking for feedback on. So I remember to my newsletter audience, I asked for feedback on a cover of a book, I asked for feedback on book titles. And my goal in every email that I send out is add value. Even if I might put a little plug to join the next cohort of the connected leader.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Of course, only if there's value first, right? So I feel like when you are in a relationship, then you have to ask, but if the only thing you're doing is asking, right? So I am a fan of putting it out there, but I Think you have to think about the entirety of your communication on social media.

Marcia Dawood 

Yes, that makes a lot of sense. So you mentioned your newsletter and how you have been able to grow a community around that. Do you have any tips or tricks for how somebody could get started with that, how that might be helpful to their business? I keep hearing about email lists and being able to send out to your own network as so valuable. But how does somebody even start and what are some tips there?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

I am not a marketing guru but I can share things I've tried and things I've heard of. Really you start with those that you know and so you have a list of your contacts and what you might want to do with the first one is send it out manually, so to speak or send it out via mailchimp or whatever you're using but make it a double opt in. So it's I'm inviting you to be part of this. You're somebody who matters to me and I'm trying to start something and would love to hear what you think. If you're open, please click and opt in. So you have a hundred, a thousand people in your contacts there. You just started. Maybe 10% will opt in.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Maybe 50% will opt in. You can then do the same thing on Facebook. Putting it out there. We all have lots of friends on Facebook. Hey, I'm starting this. Would love to hear what you think. Opt in here. I'll post it each week here as well.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Go to your LinkedIn network it and if you start a LinkedIn newsletter, the first one you launch LinkedIn will promote.

Marcia Dawood 

Oh yeah.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And so you end up with a thousand subscribers in that first week then you have to manually grow it yourself. So I think I'm somewhere north of 8,000 subscribers. LinkedIn hasn't helped me since week one. They helped me get to the first thousand or so and then it's been organic growth from there and that's consistency. It's if somebody emails you back on your newsletter and says this is great and I would always reply back thank you so much. There's someone you think would be would value this. Would you forward it to them? Would you share it? Would you post it on your LinkedIn? I put a little ask out there and I put an ask in a way that is easy to say no to the opt out ask. It's in the book.

Marcia Dawood 

So tell us more about the connector leader program.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

So to your point, people are struggling especially post pandemic with those connections and we're all looking for that, that community that connection, especially when we're so many people. 70% of people have a partially remote workplace now, so they're not getting that level of connection that they're accustomed to. And we feel very isolated. And so we're looking for other places to make connections. So we started the Connected Leader club. And the idea is that you get expertise from the expert coaches, myself, my partner Lou, and the experts that we bring in from our diverse and, you know, extraordinary network. Like, I might tap you at some point to come in and do our guest expert talks. But it's also there's group coaching once a month, so people can come in and say, here's what I'm struggling with.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And not only will the coaches, but anybody else who's on that live call can participate in that. And so you have that support. You have the community where you can do that, ask, do that, offer, make your introduction. We require everybody to go through the connected leader course before joining the community. So we have a shared value system. We have a shared language. And when you're in the connected leader course, you're often part of a cohort. So you have your own little circle within the greater community.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And you can have a circle conversation or you can have community conversation. So there's these beautiful elements. And by the way, anybody out there can start their own. Right. If we don't have the community that we need, we create it. And that's what I did.

Marcia Dawood 

I love that. So tell us a little bit more about the course. How long is it? How does it work?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

So it is a cohort based eight weeks, 25 videos, which is less than two hours of video time. But we drip it for you to pace it so you don't feel overwhelmed by it. Because there's also three live sessions where we come together as a cohort. The coaches come on and we do that coaching and that conversation, and that's really where the value hits. And when you connect with other people. But there is conversation had throughout because we give you little challenges. And there's activities. I think there's eight activities throughout the eight weeks.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

And there's discussion threads so people can be commenting on other people's activities and their. Their results and things like that. So there's an assessment in it. There's a little your story activity where you get to hear people's stories. I write mine as an essay. Lou does his video. But there's a lot of elements to it so that you're not just taking another online course all by yourself.

Marcia Dawood 

Yeah, that makes so much sense. I like the idea of the cohort education too because you're. You have the ability to meet other people and connect with them and then be also part of this bigger community and this bigger network. So that's super cool. With the course then people just go through the two hours of the pre recorded. But then a lot of it is just discussion amongst the different groups in more like a Q and A fashion.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

There's actually activities throughout. So there could be. For example, in the coach and grow your team module, there's a feedback self assessment to understand what are your feedback tendencies. Do you tend to give it only to your star performers or to your poor performers and understanding like why each needs what are you somebody who only gives positive feedback and doesn't shy and shies away from that critical feedback or are you always just beating people up with here's what's wrong and never acknowledging what they're doing so well? So we do some of those self assessments so people can understand creating their own development plan. And that's part of what we put into our final module which is like this. I call it the after action review and the individual development plan because we take you through what we call the foundational skills of a connected leader. The philosophies. We talk about trust, we talk about communication, we talk about clarity of communication as well as communicating with diverse styles.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

We talk about the ideas of feedback and feed forward. We talk about your leadership brand and we talk about how to build relationships. So there's a lot of content in there and I'll give you links to everything so you can share it in the show notes.

Marcia Dawood 

Wow, that sounds awesome. I want to say it is.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

We've gotten amazing feedback. I have like a video testimonial of people who've taken it and said this was amazing.

Marcia Dawood 

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay. We will put all that detail. And do you do it like a fall cohort, a spring cohort? How does that work?

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

That's been the rhythm so far. Just twice a year for public. But what we've also started to do, and we're doing one right now, is we do it internal to organizations. So I have a large nonprofit in New York city who's putting 14 leaders through a leadership program, this online program, just the way it's designed, but just for their in house people. And what's amazing is the relationships that you're making across the organization because it's a pretty big organization and these are all leaders that may not really know who the other person is. And so when we see who they are which happens through the your story assignment. We have a little bit more empathy. We feel a little bit more connected and so when we are asking them for something we know who we're asking and there's just a difference in the dynamic of how they're interacting which I love.

Marcia Dawood 

I love that and then so once people go through the course then they can be a part of the connected leader. If they wanted to be a part of that club.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Then they can join the club.

Marcia Dawood 

So good. All right we will definitely put all of these links and all the information in the show notes. Michelle, you have been just a wealth of knowledge. I wrote down all kinds of cool little tips and tricks that you were talking about so I know our listeners will be really excited to learn more and of course they should at the at a minimum get your book the Connectors Advantage. So thank you so much for being on the show today.

Michelle Tillis Lederman 

Thanks for having me on.